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You can't have everything.
You have to make choices. I'm just trying to be happy. Yes. I am now. I realize how fortunate I am. How blessed and lucky I am to have do many wonderful friends. Friends. Yes I hope we could remain as friends. Will it be something more? My mind's like a whirlpool. It's spinning like mad, never-ending. I just wish there's an immediate cure for it. But in life, there's no short cuts. I just want to be happy. So here I am going through this slow and painful but at the same time happy process. I don't know how it started to be like this, but I hope the ending will be an idealistic one.
Change your mindset in the way you're seeing things? Hard but effective. Get over it and move on with life? Easier to be said than done. To love again? Hurt countless time but it doesn't kill making another mistake. But my priorities? Set them right in my mind. So put aside your feelings or else it's bound to happen. It'll all get better in time. (ps, I know it's like 1am in the morning and I'm bullshitting my way through here. I think some things I said are rubbish.) I don't want to face it alone. Kept alone in this dark creepy corner, it's really freaky and scary. No one here to give you a sense or warmth, no hope, nothing. All you have is a mind, flooded with thoughts. You're the controller, to either set wild thoughts or motivational thoughts. So here I am, telling you I'm not going to face it alone. Family and friends, they're always here. Oh and most importantly, God is here for me always and always providing help and everything. My guitar, music, my bed, my bolster, my phone, I guess these are the things that know me completely. And guess what. I hope this isn't temporary. I'm not pinning high hopes on it but I get a sense of stability. Yes studying. My books my stationery here I come.
Yesterday is past, today is present and tomorrow is future. Staying happy and hopeful gets you out of everything problem you're stuck in. I feel like sleeping but I can't seem to fall asleep. Waiting and waiting. One day, yes that one day, I'll happen. And I'm happy. My plans for this holiday is simple. Very simple. Finish up my revisions and homework (needless to say). Hang out with my awesome friends, bond more with my family. Do lots of self-reflections. Train really hard and be serious and hyper during trainings. Lose weight and stop eating so much like a pig. Most importantly, try to resuscitate the momentum I had in 2011, which allows me to handle everything so wisely and properly. Pray and thank God for everything that happened. :) Goodnight and tomorrow will be a better day!
The reasons for you to continue smiling. :) (blogging via phone)
Posted on Monday, May 28, 2012 @ 1:30 AM