I wouldn't like to expect the worst fall for our friendship. 

Hey guys. Happy Lunar New Year! (Yes last two fays of CNY). It's been months, but felt like years to since I've last blog. Life's been pretty hectic; or should I say ultimately hectic to the extend I'm so deprived of what I used to have abundance of. My sleep, my own time, pursuing hobbies, everything's slowly depleting from my life. And what, I feel like I am just going to become machine soon. Life's been too tough to comprehend with so much shit getting into the way, people leaving and coming, some just screw your life big time. But nevertheless, God's here and I hope this faith will continue to blaze and keep alive, till the very last. Hmm, I guess I'll post the pictures of January and February when it's nearing the end of Feb. So for today.. We'll see.

Apart from the relentless building of schoolwork, friends in school are really nice and they constantly encourage you no matter how bad/ well you fare. I guess I'm finally opening up to them, like how my CCHMS friends once started building pillars in my life. I just need the seek for the source of motivation and support in order to combat more upcoming challenges. More to come, I always tell myself. Be prepared to face the worst and the most overwhelming feeling that's going to engulf me soon.

Though the workload is one thing, having to deal with emotional issues is another painful and disheartening thing.. I mean, who likes to see people change. Keeping empty promises and having one's hopes up, are you really good at that? I really what have become of you. Or maybe you didn't change at all, but I'm the one who's jumping into such silly conclusions. Where's the oath and assurance we once had? Maybe as time goes, you finally see how appreciative I am and that indeed, I take things for granted. I hated you for some time, for being there for the sake of it. Maybe, my stereotyping of such things make you more prone to that. Maybe, maybe, it's just you who's putting up what's most important first, and trying to embrace the adversity.  But what you haven't notice is that, overtime, your goals and visions would changed, and I eventually wouldn't be an encouragement or goal to work towards to. My value would be indifferent to a stranger's. And just how simple and indirect, we start to fall. And when we fell, we would again think back and resurface what on earth happened to us. As quick as you've come to learn this, you're too late. I've learnt to brace myself in the fiercest challenge and toughest obstacle, but at the same time treating them as a learning point. And this eventually results me in a mentally stronger person, without having to depend on anyone anymore. I guess I should be thanking you instead, for putting in such state which would eventually benefits me. All the best? I hope so.

Your existence doesn't matter anymore. 

Made by Paula. 1 2