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Go easy don't rush me.
You push me, I don't have the strength to, resist or control you. So take me down, you hurt me. Why do I deserve this. You make me so nervous, calm me down. So come here and never leave this place, perfection of your face, slows me down. Fall down, I need you to trust me. Go easy don't rush me. 

This time round of exams, it doesn't feel as motivated as last year's. Don't know what's happening in me, when I'm not supposed to blog or even use the computer or get distracted, I still eventually did.. Two papers down, I don't know still have how many to go. Tomorrow's Chinese paper2 and we have freaking hell loads of vocabulary and idioms to learn, which is, nerve-wrecking. I wasn't like this last time, much more focus and I still have that exam momentum. (or whatever shit it is) But now.. I feel so swinging and lazy. Not in the right mood for exams. How? 

Okay I promise after this round of ranting, I shall concentrate on my following exams. 



The thought of losing someone special, isn't that scary? You never know when they're going to leave you, dump you, hurt you, love someone else. You never know what's going to happen tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week or even next month. Life is just so unpredictable. Maybe that makes it scary and unexpected. Don't blame a girl for being paranoid, for thinking too much and jumping into conclusions. It's usual for them to do so cos' they mean and care for their relationship, yeah this much. Trust, once crushed like a paper, it can never be the same again. Things happened, we witness it, seeing is believing isn't it? So.. that solves a quarter of my puzzle. It can't be remained as peaceful, as faithful as ever. Once or twice or maybe thrice, things happen, yeah you know what I'm trying to imply. I don't believe people wouldn't do things behind their love ones. Lies, betrayal, dramas, oh so many of these are happening around me and what, you want me to trust you as much as last time? No more second chance.

You said I need to trust you but, look at the things you did. Congrats, you've just crushed the trust away from me. She said, she showed, she told, she thought, she felt. How can I possibly close an eye for this. Fuck all these. Cut all your bullshits. You didn't even want to try yet trying to convince me time over time. Ugh. I'm so tired and sick of all these insecurities and doubts. Who to trust?

If everything was anything, then what's everything? 
Posted on Thursday, April 26, 2012 @ 9:43 PM
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Started with sparks, ♥