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If you were set to be a substitution.
What if, all your hard work only leads you to be a substitute. How would you feel? Hey wonderful people. How's life been? It's been pretty stressful for me because of common test. And finally, yesterday was the last paper. Happy us. Well, today I'm use going to briefly elaborate on volleyball..
It's been really competitive in volleyball because of new DSA sec1 players. No doubt they're better than us. And maybe coach will only be choosing 3-4 sec2s to play. So yeah for me, I really hope he'd choose me. It's kinda sad, that last week he chose me to play a match for the main team, but he didn't this week. Maybe it's just this part of me being paranoid and feeling unfair cos' some of us really deserve the chance to, however coach being prejudiced.. I don't know what to add on further. I guess, the only critical thing I should do, is to attend all trainings and train hard. Yes, for the past 3-4 months, training was always tiring and exhausting for me. No matter how much hard work and effort I put, it just doesn't seem to pay off- all gone down the drain. I just don't get it. Coach can't seem to see what other players are good at and how much they've improved. He's judgement is all based on first impression. If you're enthusiastic and just so happened he saw you receiving a good ball, he'll take note of it. It all depends on chance and destiny. It's pretty unfair, from what I heard from some of my team mates.
No matter what, I ain't going to give up cos' I know there's still hope. It's isn't unfair. It's just I have to be better and much much much better for coach to realize. 4 more months till competition, I'm going to show him I can do it and yeah, I hope and want to be in main 6. Painstaking work, I'm going to persevere. C'mon Cassandra, you can do it.
So many on hands now, councillor, studies, CCA, friends, family, you, everything. Sometimes, I really can't bear the stress. I really want to fly to somewhere else, to take a satisfying break before coming back here. I'm almost on the edge of being unmanageable. I can't stand facing insomnias everything, sleeping at 1am in the morning, dozing off in class, neglecting health. I just can't let it affect me or else the consequences I have to face is... Life isn't that tough, if you were to compare yours with those kids living in Africa. Every day to them are like threat, the uncertainty and fear that surrounds their living condition is unimaginable. Famine, abductions, some kids are just unlucky. What about us? Complaining life's being unfair and injustice, spare a thought for others. We're living in such luxurious privileges, and problems are mainly caused by us taking too many things for granted.. It's basically caused by ourselves. Yup, no doubt coach will those them, because of their deep passion for volleyball. Guess, it's time to do some reflections, instead of blaming this and that.
Other than that, everything's been going well apart from some friendship problems, as usual. And sad to say, 2Harmony is... so not bonded now. Apparently, a lot of things happened in class.. Just pray that it'll be fine and hope the teachers won't get mad or pressurized over us again. These few days, I don't know what's into me, a part of me is like..getting too emotional and stuffs. I guess girls face moodswings that often huh. It's okay, cos' I have you. Wee, last week was totally unexpected. I mean, some things just happened to unexpectedly.. Smiles and thankful for that push you gave, yes, I have to go on with life no matter how hard it is. Don't ask too much, be contented with life and yeah, with God anything is possible.
So near yet so far.
Posted on Saturday, March 10, 2012 @ 5:57 PM