Storm, ominous clouds, pouring rain, rumbling thunder, howling wind, ain't it familiar nowadays? Yes, the sky's feeling low once again. So am I, just kidding. But I believe weather does change our moods. Many things happened recently; you don't talk to me that often, no more mind-readings, the hole in my heart is healing on it's own, I've became someone with her own mind, not being controlled, I find myself soulless. Basically it's just two different things. Family wise, it's always the same thing, so I guess elaborating on it equals to crying over spilled milk. While blogging, here comes the never-ending pitter-patter and the thunder. It's amazing, after the storm, that smell of the cleansed land could really be refreshing. And so, the next thing, I guess you know what is it.

Sometimes, I don't know whether if I've done something wrong or, was it really my fault for not doing something. So I think and think and think, and yet I can't think of anything. It's funny, when two different hearts are actually pieced to one, and yet you couldn't even feel the speed it's throbbing, the thoughts it's circulating, the feelings it's expressing. Why why. I find that our minds love to manipulate our feelings. I think that way, and you're making me feel another way. So I thought I'm wrong, so I changed what I was supposed to do and, after all, it's wrong, still. So I can't read your mind, no no, not say that I want to be another vampire, I just want to know and plan what can I do next with you. So you just sometimes neglect me without  giving me any account, just walk away like that, and I'll be stunned there, wondering who's gonna make another move. No no, not say I'm unhappy with you or angry or whatever, I just want you to tell me what's going through your mind. Guess. we've both been feeling the same, you're you, I'm I, I'm leading my own life, you lead yours, no interference, don't have to tell people what you're gonna do next, that's it. It's actually a good thing, put us into tests, and see, without you, am I able to survive as well, am I able to withstand yearns. Maybe it's a good things, a good time, a good distant, to let us realize, how important is it with or without you, is it better, or worst. Let this be a break for us, to think, really do some soul-searching. Cos' you know, going on like this ain't gonna bring us to anywhere, it's just going to lead us to one way, yes that way.

Let me make this clear, I'm not angry or pissed or anything, I'm just sorting out thoughts so we both know what's the best for us. I'm not feeling hopeless or emotional at this just cos' of some trivial matters. I just want to find another person to tell him/her how great and perfect you are. (Ok, sometimes I don't even know what I'm saying.) It's like, I've been swapped by a tidal wave, and there's only two ways to survive, swim back to shore or held on to a wooden plank there's floating near me cos' I want to find another friend of mine. I'm stuck, either I, use the wooden plank and by luck find my friend, or selfishly swim back to shore, or stay at that spot with the plank and wait for her. But look at the risk intake.. Yes. Get what I mean, I'm like completely trapped at this puzzle. I guess I'm once again speaking something nonsensical. Haha. Oh well, that's just me.

Next, I think I'm stupid. I don't know why, I'm always afraid. Okay, I shall shut up now. I shall go rant at other places cos' here not save. See told ya, I'm going nuts sooner or later. Talking about going psychologically hay-wired, I really have to seek consultation from psychiatrist. I think he/she shall be my best friend. Yay for me.

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