Life's full of ups and downs.

Today, its a down.


Results back. Shan't elaborate much. Parents talked to me this morning about it and how to do better on my Chinese. Then during breakfast, I ask if I could get another MacBook air since I've have a pro. They of course said no cos' it's kinda unreasonable. Never mind.

After guitar lesson, I asked whether I can get my own iPad instead, they didn't allow too. And I'm pissed. Why?

When bad results are shown to them, they nag, scold. Next day, everything went back to normal. When moderate results are shown to them, they said I should do better to attain much better ones. When good results are shown, they just praised and shut up.

Let me tell you what SHOULD THEY DO INSTEAD.

Bad results- scold like shit, get mad with me for a few days, pressurized me to do more work to improve, buy more assessments.

Moderate results- I don't mind if you just encourage, least show some way to help me do better.

Good results- yes, you can praise. But, don't I get a reward. Gosh. It's like, you've help your company clinched the most prestigious award, then your company doesn't pay you. Don't you feel used? Totally. Work so fucking hard and in the end scold me for being greedy? It's the end of the year my dear.

I'm not trying to be materialistic or anything. Not being petty about I can't get anything. I'm ranting cos' my parents doesn't even care. DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME. yeah. I know they see me as an invisible. But seriously, whatever achievements I get in my life, there's like no way i'm gonna be happy or excited about it. Why? I have no goals. So what if I get good results, what do I get in the end? Nothing. Nothing. And nothing. Praises, I don't need them. I can self-motivate.

Oh well. Another fucked up day? Nah. Used to it. No point ranting here. Just fucking affect my tolerance. Just pray I'll get my freedom soon. Or maybe don't even have one life that is controlled by myself.

Suck big time you bitchy life.

Made by Paula. 1 2