Why did I turn on this love show?
The distance between you and I has increased. 
I was the servant of this love.
Why did we fight?
Why were we like that?
Did you lose the sight?
We used to be in love.
Why am I stuck in this moment?
The one I need is you, silly.


It's 12 January.

How time past once again.. Page 12 of 366. Would you slow down.. I'm still in 2011. Missed and regretted a lot. Honestly speaking. I'm still stuck. I'm not moving on with life, trust me. It sucks, to fake a smile and a cheerful exterior, showing everyone you're alright when you're totally not. It sucks not getting what you want. And it sucks more, when you can't get the things you want and have been waiting for damn fucking long. I'm tired. Really. Sometimes, I really wish to give up. But the stupid heart of mine, continued it's own. How how how. I can't continue being like this. It sucks. IT SUCKS. Sometimes, if tearing really helps solve problems, I wouldn't mind crying pills of water. I mean, what can I do now man. It's been almost 2 years, 2 damn terrible years. Damn this stupid Cassandra.. It's like, you're facing a problem of someone and that person doesn't know. Okay, I don't know how to put it but it's just stupid. Seriously, I'm like trapped in this fucking hole and there's no way I can get out. It's suffocating. No one to resuscitate.

It's like you're drowning, yet you're breathing. But it's impossible to breathe while drowning. Get it? It's impossible.. But I'm hoping. Hoping for what. I have no idea. I don't know what I'm trying to get. But I know what I want now. Do I? I don't know. It's sometimes hallucinations, it's sometimes not. Lust. No lust. Love? No love. Nothing. What can I do? Study? Yes I am. I'm not a dead person. Results, good results. So what if good results, it doesn't determine where your future will lead you. Don't ask me what happen. Really. Something happened and that's what I can tell you. But everything's going to be like this forever, unless someone is kind enough to stab me now.

I didn't forget, I just merely tried to divert my attention. 

Made by Paula. 1 2